Happy Whatever You're Having
by King in Yellow
Summary: Your parents are tough to buy for? Kasy and Sheki have two moms, one Christian and one Jewish. One stoically insists she doesn't need anything, the other has already bought whatever she wants. What are the poor twins to do? Even help from beyond the grave offers no help at all. Only one fact seems clear: do not, under any circumstances, buy kitchen utensils for Kim. Best Enemies.


Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

NoDrogs created Kasy and Sheki. I gave them a completely different origin and a younger sister (in that order).

Happy Whatever You're Having from The Therapy Sisters' album Codependent Christmas. If you suffer flashbacks from the last chapter of Grudge Matches, Yes, Kim Possible, There Is a Santa Claus, or Another Nightmare before Christmas don't blame me. You left your memory turned on again.

 **Happy Whatever You're Having**

Kasy lay on Sheki's lower bunk, and idly patted the scaly head of the long, dragon-like creature stretched out beside her, its head on her chest as it demanded attention. "What do we get Mom and Eemah for Hanukah and Christmas?" she complained.

"A pony!" chirped Jane, her kindergarten sister who was stretched out on the floor of the twin's room as she worked on an Elsa picture in a Frozen coloring book.

Sheki ignored the suggestion. She sat cross-legged on the floor, leaning back against the desk as they waited for Shego to relieve them from watching Jane. "Yeah. Ask mom what she wants for Christmas and it's, 'I don't need anything'."

"I know. And if Eemah wants something she just buys it for herself."

"No kitchen gadgets," sighed Sheki. "Not after that spiralizer last year. What was it Eemah says, mom won't read the directions because she sees it as a sign of weakness?"

"She says that," agreed Kasy, "and that mom is too good at improvising weapons. Remember, the company that made it claimed it couldn't possibly do that much damage."

"But grandpa James always says," began Sheki and her sisters joined her, "anything is possible for a Possible."

"An ice cream machine!" Kasy suddenly exclaimed.

"Didn't you hear? Kitchen stuff and Mom–"

"She doesn't have to make it, but she can eat it!"

Jane chimed in with, "Ice cream! 'Ray!"

"You're thinking more about yourself than Mom and Eemah," argued Sheki.

"You got any ideas or just want to shoot me down?"

"If it's in the kitchen she'll try and use it."

"Maybe a gift thing for a restaurant?"

"JP Bearymore!" exclaimed Jane.

"She means a good place to eat," Sheki explained.

"JP Bearymore is a good place," argued Jane.

"Helen!" called Sheki.

"Why are you calling her?"

"Maybe she has an idea."

A young woman, dressed in white, walked through the bedroom door, literally through the door. She waved at Kasy and Jane, who were unable to hear her. Smaug, a coward at heart, snuggled closer to Kasy for protection from this odd thing. His eyes saw something, but his trusted nose told him there was nothing there. "Did you call me?"

"Yes. We're trying to think of gifts for our mothers, and thought you might have ideas."

"Stores are so different now. I bought beautiful presents for my mother and father last Christmas. I bought him a gold watch chain and tortoise shell combs for my mother." Last Christmas, or birthday, or 4th of July for Helen tended to mean the last year of her life, a century earlier.

"Kasy thought maybe an ice cream maker."

Helen clapped her hands. "Ice cream is wonderful! On a hot day the servants would take turns cranking the machine until it was ready. That is a wonderful idea."

"But no other ideas?"

"I'm afraid not." The ghost faded from view.

"What did she say about ice cream?" asked Kasy.

"She said it was a bad idea, a lot of work and it makes a big mess."

"Other kids have it easy," mused Kasy. "They get their dad a mug that says 'World's Best Dad' and their mom one that says 'World's Best Mom'. Then, BOOM, they're done."

"Mugs for Mommy and Eemah," insisted Jane.

"The problem, Squirt," Kasy pointed out, "is that they don't make 'World's Best Eemah' mugs."

"And a second problem," added Sheki, "is that Eemah just means mother in Hebrew. So the mugs would say they same thing. They can't both be the world's best mother."

"Why not?" asked the kindergartner.

"We should get them one really fancy mug that says 'World's Best Mom," giggled Kasy, "and let them fight over it."

Sheki looked around for something in reach to throw at her twin. "That's not how you give gifts. They have Happy Hanukah mugs, and Merry Christmas mugs, but those aren't personal. We need something that is special for them from us."

"They make picture mugs, don't they? That shop on... It's, like, ninth or tenth street makes them... I think."

"Those picture in a plastic mug thing don't look nice."

"No, this place does the real ones on that... that whatever stuff they make real mugs out of."

"Ceramic?"

"Yeah, that stuff. Baked right on."

"Glaze is fired... We need to check that out. It would be great! Pictures of us. Happy Hanukah for Eemah, Merry Christmas for Mom, and a secular New Year!"

"Secular New Year?"

Sheki sighed in exasperation. "Not religious. Jewish New Year is Rosh Hashanah. Don't you pay attention to classes at synagogue?"

"I pay as much attention in synagogue as I do in church," Kasy assured her.

"I'll bet that makes both our moms very proud," came the sarcastic reply.

"We need a picture of you and me for the mug. You said make it personal from us."

"And Jane."

"Jane too? Why?"

"Hello? Little sister, remember?"

"Yeah!" seconded Jane.

"Fine, she can be in our picture. But it's supposed to be secret... Grandpa James! We ask him to come over tomorrow and–"

"How about you check that place out tomorrow and see if they really do it and what it costs?"

"Hey, someplace makes them if they won't. This is my great idea!"

"You said get one fancy one and let them fight over it. This is my idea!"

"Mine!"

"No, mine!"

* * *

The shop, on 9th Street, made personalized ceramic mugs. They cost more than Kasy had imagined. But she noticed that the price per mug went down dramatically if you bought more than one of the same design.

"Image design, set up, and programming the machine takes time," explained the man at the counter. "Once you do that you can keep making it over and over. You want a different image on another mug and you got to pay for design and programming again."

 _"It's still a good idea,_ " Kasy argued mentally as she left the shop. _"Maybe Grandpa James would help pay."_ She called her grandfather and explained his role as photographer and silent partner. As expected, he agreed to come on-board with the project.

"No costumes for the picture?" their grandfather teased as they set up for the picture. "You two were so cute as Solstice gnomes, or whatever you called those outfits years ago."

"Don't remind me," Sheki shuddered. "That was scary. I wonder who rescued us... Sometimes I wonder if it was Jane and Junior."

"Don't be silly," argued Kasy. "They were, like, way older than us."

Sheki rolled her eyes and James Possible smiled. As he started taking pictures Smaug insisted on inclusion.

At the end of the photo shoot James promised, "I'll send copies to your email and you can decide which you like."

* * *

The twins made their choice. "We'll go to the shop tomorrow and order the 'Happy Hanukah' and 'Merry Christmas' mugs," Sheki directed.

"You watch Jane. I'll go with Grandpa James – he's helping us pay for them."

"How much are they going to–"

"Don't worry. Grandpa is helping us."

Kasy called her grandfather, who asked, "Do you want me to go in with you and pay the difference?"

"Um, Sheki and I really want to go in together and make the order. It's a present from... How do we pay?"

"Well, I won't give you a credit card or blank check. Get an estimate from them and I'll give you cash."

"They told me what it would cost a couple days ago." Kasy told him the figure, and what she and Sheki could afford.

The next day, after picking up cash from her grandfather, Kasy placed the order.

"They'll be ready Tuesday of next week. Here's your change and receipt."

"Could you put the change and receipt in an envelope and lick it? I need to give it to someone."

"Seal it for you? Sure," he shrugged.

* * *

"You wrapped them without letting me see them?" Sheki protested. "And why are there so many?"

"Because my idea for mugs was great," Kasy argued.

James Possible looked curious as Kasy delivered presents for him and Anne, and the envelope with his change. "Did I pay for my own Christmas gift?"

"No, you paid for Grandma Susan and Grandpa George's presents. Sheki and I paid for yours."

* * *

The noise from downstairs awakened the women of the house. At the head of the stairs Shego, in green silk pajamas and a black bathrobe warned Kim, "This year I don't need to hear what a magical morning this is."

"But it is, ever since that Christmas I found you under the tree."

"I was not under the Christmas tree. I was in your stocking, but not under the tree."

"Close enough," Kim, in a pink flannel nightgown assured her partner. "You were the best present Santa ever brought."

"Give the credit to the judge who let me out on bail, not Santa."

"Santa works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform."

"And speaking of mysterious," Shego commented glumly as they descended the stairs, "I hope there's no mystery gift for Jane this year."

There was.

Jane wanted to simply plug in the small ice cream machine and eat ice cream. She was arguing with Sheki, who was trying to explain the bowl needed to be chilled and ingredients added before it could work.

"Happy late Hanukah, and Merry on-time Christmas," Kasy called, handing presents to her mothers.

Sheki abandoned Jane and moved over to see the gifts opened.

There was no 'Happy Hanukah' for Shego. There was no 'Merry Christmas' for Kim. Neither read "Happy Secular New Year'. The mugs were identical. Large blue and white letters expressed "Merry Holidays" and small letters under the picture of the girls and their pet proclaimed "from the greatest kids on earth."

"That wasn't what you were supposed to order!" stormed Sheki.

"It was cheaper to get eight the same than two different!"

"But they're the same! Mom and Eemah won't know which is which!"

"It doesn't matter if they're the same," Kasy argued.

"Wrong, Kid," interjected Shego. "Mine isn't staying in the cupboard here, it's going to my office."

"And I'm taking mine to Global Justice with me. It's adorable. I'm going to take a picture of it and send it to grandma and grandpa."

"I gave them–"

" _We_ gave them mugs," interrupted Sheki, "from the two of us."

"Three!" exclaimed Jane.

"My mom and dad too?" asked Shego.

"Yep."

"There are other grandkids, you know."

"But we're the greatest. We called first dibs."

Shego nodded solemnly, "Calling dibs, like possession, is nine-tenths of the law. Kasy, go start oatmeal. Sheki, help Jane with the ice cream maker. Your mom and I will check her wrapping paper for clues." The green woman smiled and stared at the image on the mug as the children went to the kitchen. "All I can say," she told Kim, as she pointed at the dragonish creature in the photo, "is no one on my side of the family looks like that."


End file.
